Perhaps "Top Cap" Was a Bit Vague

It's shit like this, home mechanics...

Flossin

KC had a lot of trouble getting the seatpost out. So to avoid unnecessary struggles getting the new one back in, he got out his handy dandy box of Bike Floss!

Engrish Frame

"Is this a good bike?"

"Well, it's reasonably light for it's age and has...cro-mori tubes?"

Broken Cable? Knot a problem

Remarkably, this bike was in for nothing but a bottom bracket replacement. We suggested a new cable, but this one (these two?) was "working fine."

Mattress Warning Label

Photo by Raderick

This is not a joke. The tag truly came attached to the saddle. And no, we didn't tear it off. We are law abiding citizens at this shop.

Sand+Bike= No!

At least those nice new Rival shifters will still make adequate brake levers...

1st Seized Bottom Bracket of the Year

The dreaded Shimano LP-30. Fixed on the non-drive side? Really guys? I'd like to hear the conversation that led to that great idea. Its just that every other bottom bracket in existence with a fixed cup is on the DRIVE SIDE.  Anyway, thanks for the curve ball Shimano.

Rack Install

Most of the time being a bike mechanic is pretty easy. It really isn't that hard. Anybody can do it, except this guy.

Mechanic:  That rack isn't going to work on your bike.
Customer:  Why?
M:  You don't have the proper mounting eyelets and I don't have any clamps large enough to fit the oversized stays.
C:  Ok. When will it be ready?
M:  Never.  It isnt safe.  Im not mounting your rack.
C:  Cant you get the parts?
M:  The parts dont exists. It isnt going to happen.  I can order you a rack that will work.
C:  I like this one.
M:  So do I.
C:  Ill just go to the hardware store.
M:  ...
C:  Ill take it.
M:  It cant work.  Dont do it.
C:  Ill put it on my other bike.
M:  What kind of bike is that?
C:  Ummm...

Welcome to the mechanic's gambit, in which the bike will never be worked on unless the rack is sacrificed. What a waste of everyone's time.

Vestigial Structures and Mutation

Im going to blame everything on the 5 gallon "keg" of slime.  That just isnt right.  

Seatpost FAIL

You have to give them creativity points though.