1st Seized Bottom Bracket of the Year

The dreaded Shimano LP-30. Fixed on the non-drive side? Really guys? I'd like to hear the conversation that led to that great idea. Its just that every other bottom bracket in existence with a fixed cup is on the DRIVE SIDE.  Anyway, thanks for the curve ball Shimano.

Rack Install

Most of the time being a bike mechanic is pretty easy. It really isn't that hard. Anybody can do it, except this guy.

Mechanic:  That rack isn't going to work on your bike.
Customer:  Why?
M:  You don't have the proper mounting eyelets and I don't have any clamps large enough to fit the oversized stays.
C:  Ok. When will it be ready?
M:  Never.  It isnt safe.  Im not mounting your rack.
C:  Cant you get the parts?
M:  The parts dont exists. It isnt going to happen.  I can order you a rack that will work.
C:  I like this one.
M:  So do I.
C:  Ill just go to the hardware store.
M:  ...
C:  Ill take it.
M:  It cant work.  Dont do it.
C:  Ill put it on my other bike.
M:  What kind of bike is that?
C:  Ummm...

Welcome to the mechanic's gambit, in which the bike will never be worked on unless the rack is sacrificed. What a waste of everyone's time.

Vestigial Structures and Mutation

Im going to blame everything on the 5 gallon "keg" of slime.  That just isnt right.